'Tis the Season...

For emotional breakdowns, depression, baking, over-eating, and family; or at least that’s my point of view right now.  Next weekend is Christmas, and lately it hasn’t felt like it at all- no decorations, no shopping, not really any baking, and no tree.  But I suppose that’s all of the materialistic characteristics of Christmas, so they don’t really matter.  Or do they?  Being broke for the holidays definitely puts things in perspective, and adds a smidgen of depression to the season.  But I should still be thankful for my family, my husband, and my lil’ man, right?- of course I am. 

However, I’ve been doing a lot of praying lately, mainly because I have no idea what else to do, but also because I’m tired of being depressed.  I know there are families out there that are having a harder time than we are- families that can’t even afford a place to live, they can’t afford groceries, and they can’t afford gifts for one another.  But somehow, some still find joy in the Christmas season.  So why can’t I?  Well, there’s absolutely NOTHING that I can personally do to fix our situation- so I gave it to Him.  I will let Him fix it; just please give me my happiness back.  Well, I have some of my happiness back- the Christmas tree got decorated (I supervised while sitting in the massage chair), and I’ve decided to unleash my small stash of handmade items as gifts this year.  I won’t be able to give to everyone, but I’ll still be able to give.  And He’s fixing it….my hubby finishes a job this next week, and will be getting a contract for a large job tomorrow.  Thank you Lord!!!

Now if only He can do something about this back pain of mine…

21 wks 2 days

It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve posted any updates, but honestly- being pregnant is hard, and with everything else going on in my life a blog is just not a high priority right now.  I have more important things to cry about.

So here’s what you missed…

November 29^th we had our second ultrasound- which was amazing!  I can’t believe how much our baby has grown already; from peanut-sized at 10 weeks to the size of a soda can at 20 weeks!  And yes, we found out we’re having a BOY!!  At first, I was sliiiiightly disappointed because I REALLY wanted a little girl since I first found out I was knocked up.  But, over time I gave up my theory that I was having a girl and gave in to the possibility of it being a boy.  So, here we are…it’s a boy.

Now I need a name for this child.  Who knew that figuring out a name would be so difficult- especially finding a name that we both like.  If my husband had his way our child’s name would be Marc Anthony or Harrison Ford.  I really like the name Henry, but our cat’s name is Henry so that won’t work.  At least we have 19 more weeks to figure it out….

In the meantime, lil’ man is practicing his Kung Fu moves and I think last night he kicked me in the colon.  His little movements and activities make all the crap I’ve been going through worth it.  I had a friend comment on how everything I’m going through makes her feel sorry for preggos…so let’s recap:  my entire 1^st trimester was plagued with non-stop nausea, daily vomiting, serious food and smell aversions, and constant fatigue.  Now that I’ve made it halfway through my pregnancy, I’ve gotten past all of those issues…only now I get to deal with back pain, hip pain, can’t get comfortable at night, I pee constantly, indigestion has reared its ugly head, and now the doctor tells me I’m anemic.  Great.  So, I get to take iron supplements which I fear will give me constipation- which up until this point I haven’t had to deal with.  It’s a never-ending battle with my own body.  But like I said- it’s all worth it for this lil’ man, and I can’t wait to meet him!